Discussion Post: Unlikeable Women (Characters)

Thanks for bearing with me as I adjust to being back from my blogging break. And thanks SO much for your comments – they were what made me excited to return and talk books (and more) with you.

Now, to the topic of … what do you think of Unlikeable Women Characters?

Tell me what you think of Unlikeable Women Characters?

What makes a character unlikeable? Is it different depending on the character’s gender? How flawed does a character have to be to for me to call them unlikeable? Should I spell “unlikeable” with the “e” in the middle or without? (I like the extra “e,” but apparently “unlikable” is the preferred version.)

I’m focusing on female characters here, because I think they present more interesting examples – it seems to me that men get a lot more leeway to be jerks – on the page, on the screen, and in real life.

So … what got me thinking about this topic at the moment was a book and a show:

The show? Girlboss. I watched it on Netflix and … I liked it. It’s based on a memoir about a woman who’s flat broke in the early 2000s in San Francisco and starts reselling vintage clothes on eBay to pay her rent. (I love “making it in the big city” plots.)

I told a friend about it and she said that she heard it was not good. That the main character was so terrible and the reviews agreed.

Me: really? Okay, the main character shoplifts. (Which I do not condone. Although one reviewer accuses her of “stealing food” — out of a dumpster. Um, I don’t think that counts. Though she does also steal a book. And a rug.) She can definitely be incredibly self-centered in her personal relationships.  She’s also street-smart, creative, and very hard-working. In short, she’s flawed. But she (sometimes) owns her flaws, and by that measure I find her (mostly) sympathetic.

The unlikeable (to me) character was in If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say. Winter, the main character of the book makes a very offensive remark online. Her post goes viral and there’s all kinds of fallout, both virtual and in her real life.

Completely aside from her situation, I found Winter incredibly unlikeable as a character. She begins the book by saying what a terrible person she is, but that came off to me as very insincere – like that thin/pretty girl you know who’s always saying how fat/ugly she is and your job is to reassure her. Because it’s all about her. She and her family try to fix (buy her way out of) her situation in the weirdest ways. And just when she seemed to have learned from her mistake, she took a huge step backwards.

I realize that, as I describe them, these two characters sound not all that different. Both are narcissists whose behavior hurts others. Why did I find one character flawed yet sympathetic while intensely disliking the other?

I found Sophia’s character to be mostly likeable even in her narcissism (but maybe I was the only one, lol.) Winter’s stunningly privileged and self-absorbed first-person narrative didn’t give me much to work with as I tried, and failed, to like or root for her.

It’s hard for me to say exactly what makes a character cross the line for me from complicated/flawed to outright unlikeable.

I think for me what’s key to a character being relatable despite being unlikeable is their degree of self-awareness. I have much more patience for a flawed character who makes mistakes but owns up to them than a flawed character who refuses to acknowledge how her actions affect others.

Tell me your thoughts. What makes a character completely unlikeable for you? Are there unlikeable characters you still root for? Am I the only person who likes the “e” in unlikeable? And am I the only person who liked Girlboss?